Spectrum

Spectrum

by Jill C.


Class has just started. Teacher closes the door and walks toward the front of the classroom. Shoes make soft squeaks on the dirty/cracked-yet-polished linoleum. Greyish brown linoleum with greyish brown flecks. So no one can really see the dirt until a paper or pen is dropped and comes back up covered in grainy dust.


Teacher closes the door and walks to the front of the classroom. Red converse tennis shoes squeaking across the floor. Red converse tennis shoes that are supposed to be fun, like "I know you; I empathize with you." Red converse tennis shoes that I want to look at instead of your face.


Walks to the front of the classroom. Uncaps the green marker. It smells like a green marker. I know it's a green marker because it smells like a green marker, not because I'm looking because I'm looking at your SHOES, which are RED, and red and green don't go because they mean CHRISTMAS, and it can't be Christmas because right now it's OCTOBER.

The marker squeaks like your shoes. But it can't be like your shoes because they're RED and the marker is GREEN and it's OCTOBER. You're writing. You're writing the lesson to which no one will pay attention. It's about grammar. I know how to use proper grammar already. THEY don't. THEY are going to text on their phones during class. When THEY text, THEY don't use proper grammar. THEY press numbers and letters and abbreviate words that can't technically be abbreviated. When THEY text, each key THEY press makes a different click, and all I hear all class is clickclickclickclickclick because I'm not paying attention to the lesson. I should be paying attention to the lesson, because then I'd be the only one paying attention to the lesson, because sure as hell THEY're not paying attention to the lesson.

Am I bad that I'm not paying attention and THEY're not paying attention because that makes me like THEM and THEY're bad? If a=b and b=c then a=c NO that's MATH, this is ENGLISH. But I'm not paying attention to ENGLISH because I already know ENGLISH. I already know math too. I know everything. I know everything, and THEY don't know anything. I don't know how to text, but that doesn't count as anything because it's stupid and they're stupid and its all stupidstupidstupidstupid and AGAINST THE RULES for class, so NO ONE should be doing it anyway.

I want to go home. You sitting next to me, you smell like eggs which makes me want to puke, for which the proper medical term is emesis. I want to go home. I want to leave. I want to grab your phone and throw it against the wall. I want to yell out your name and tell you that you're BREAKING THE RULES, but my doing that would be breaking the other rules, but that's NOT COOL because I should be able to do whatever I want, especially when it comes to enforcing the first rules and keeping my environment free from scum like you that should be scooped up in a pool net and thrown over the wall into the ditch to dry up and be eaten by birds.

I finally look up at the board and the green marker, then back to the red shoes. GRAMMAR, it says. I already know how to use proper grammar. Birds should eat the scum like you after it is scooped up in a pool net and thrown over the wall into the ditch. Gotta keep that passive voice in check.
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Did You Know? (A special one for Balloon Fiesta)

You've all probably eaten or at least seen a loaf of wonder bread. The thin slices of white bread are so polluted with preservatives and white sugar that you may as well have been eating pop tarts on either side of your turkey and cheese. What is so remarkable about this spongy stuff that it is called "wonder"?

The answer lies in the packaging. Large dots in primary colors overlap slightly to decorate the white plastic un-biodegradable bag. Not too remarkable, eh? Hold that design next to the one for Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta: now do you see some similarities?

The story goes something like this: A man invented a new kind of bread. He didn't have a name for it yet. One day, he saw a cluster of hot air balloons in the sky, and he was filled with wonder at the beauty and strangeness of the experience. He knew at once that he had found a name for his bread.

It may sound bizarre, but it is true. In my opinion, though, it's more of a wonder that people continue to buy and eat such a horrible excuse for bread...