Black Demon Love Song

I feel a series coming...



Black Demon Love Song

by Jill C.

It's dark. All I can see is dark. It must be night. I feel awake, though. Awake, but tired. My stomach is sick. My head hurts. But I am awake.

James left a long time ago. It feels like forever. Like I hven't seen him in years. Or minutes. It's all the same here.

Here. In the place. I can't bring myself to say it. Hos... Hosp... If I say it, he will be angry.

He has become very strange since James left. Or since I took the little white pill. I don't really know what affects him more. He says strange things. Just words. Just things.

I lay on my stomach on the cot. It smells like laundry soap. Like trying too hard. It's unnatural.

Cold. Dark.

I try to remember what the doc... The man in the white coat said. He said just to stay for a little while. Until I feel better. Until he goes away. Then James can come back.

I close my eyes. Try to sleep. I am a little afraid. Without James to keep the terrors away, I don't know what will happen. I try to focus on James. Only James. Only.

Two little boys squatting on the beach. Poking at a beached starfish with slender driftwood sticks. Dark hair glistening under the late summer sun. Copper skin glowing under a coating of sand and salt.

Riding in an old pickup truck with the windows down. James riding shotgun. Mason behind him. Both put their heads out of the window. They turn and grin at one another. Brothers-not-by-blood. No closer bond.

The grandmother ladeling beans into a huge bowl before the church picnic. James and Mason running around the house. The grandfather loading blankets and folding chairs into the truckbed.

A long time ago...

I turn over onto my side. I am hot and cold and uncomfortable. Whether I have slept or not I can't tell.

James.

He's helping me. I turn my mind back to James. To when we were older. After the grandfather died.

Mason is shivering in bed. James's quiet breathing beside him. Mason pushes against James, hoping to borrow his warmth. James groans in his sleep and wraps his arms around me. Safe. Warm. Protected. Always.

Even when he takes over. Even when Mason is bad. When Mason struck the grandmother. When Mason can't see straight. James is there. James is warm. James is safe.

Tired. Sleep.

A dim grey glow surrounds the door. It must be tomorrow...today. And James is still in yesterday.

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I was kind of thinking of The Outsiders when I was writing Mason and James's relationship. Like how Darry, Soda, and Ponyboy all care for one another because they no longer have parents. Like how Ponyboy and Soda sleep in the same bed to keep the nightmares away.