Confessions 1: Polar Espresso

Polar Espresso: Confessions of a hypoglycemic, body image concerned coffee addict
By Jill C.

Flying Star is Heaven on Earth. Not just because it's called 'Flying Star', which makes it seem celestial in every sense, but because of what is inside. Coffee. Not just coffee. Real coffee. Rich, dark, steaming coffee which is strong, but not overwhelming. The mere aroma is enough to send me to bliss and back again. Real coffee, a full wall of magazines, and a roaring fire. Heaven.

Decaf. About 96% as tasty as full caffeine. It brings up more clear condensation around the inner ring of the mug. The decanter is orange instead of beautiful espresso brown, as if to scream, "THIS IDIOT IS DRINKING DECAF!!!" But I do drink decaf. And I'm not an elderly person with plastic rimmed glasses and trembling fingers that have never seen a computer keyboard. No, hypoglycemia is the reason. Chronic low blood sugar. And the adrenal glands activated by caffeine cause a surge of insulin that sap my strength even more. But decaf isn't quite enough. It still contains the caffeine of a glass of iced tea. And the solution to that? Eat something caloric.

Now there's an enigma if I've ever seen one. Don't eat sweets, they make you crash. Don't eat things high in fat, they don't digest well. Don't eat empty carbs, they're just like sugar. No chips, no cereal, no candy, no potatoes, no...cheesecake? You should eat something like cheesecake with coffee because it counteracts the adrenaline...A balance of fat and sugar with protein. Exactly what the 'Prevention' magazine on the table beside me advises against. Unless it's made from the recipe in 'The Biggest Loser Dessert Cookbook' where cottage cheese and agave syrup are used, and the deluxe New York cheesecake at the Flying Star certainly isn't, then I have a pretty good idea of how many grams of fat are in a single serving. And that beautiful multi grain bagel...is cardboard without the cream cheese...that the barista applies to the bread WITH A ICE CREAM SCOOP! That amount of fat in one sitting is hands down unhealthy, no matter who is eating it.

But, it's okay every once in a while, isn't it? Well, sure. But not when it's lined up next to last night's Chinese take out swimming in oil, the fully hydrogenated cool whip in the fridge, the deliciously buttery cookies on the kitchen counter... Christmas kills me. I can't think about this anymore. I need a cup of coffee.
***********************************************************
Hi all--

It's been a rough few weeks since the last post; sorry for the huge delay. This is the first in a new series, confessions. I'm taking things from my life, exaggerating them a little, and writing character sketches. Think 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' style.